Monday, May 08, 2006

My lettuces, other people's shrubbery

I planted my own lettuces this weekend, but I just don't have anything clever or insightful to say about them. They are in the two window boxes outside my room, and there are six of them, and I love them, but while this is terrifically exciting for me I am self-aware enough to know that it is very unlikely that anyone else will think that lettuces are even mildly interesting. But there they are. I think they are becoming like a pet replacement, as this morning they all got a 'Good Morning!' and a few little strokes while I remarked on their states of perkiness and gave them a bit of water. I might name them, once they have been around long enough to have sugested their personalities to me.

If you want to read about something funny and interesting (not lettuces), do trot over to Lisa at www.talesoftheundetected.blogspot.com, and check out her recent spa-menu explorations. The questions foremost in my mind: Are Hollywood starlets actually hairless? Why? Is this because of the continuing pressure to be (very!) young? Isn't there a biological reason for pubic hair? What happens if you ignore biology, become like a hairless cat, and affix rhinestones to your bits? What would be the general reaction of a man to a bald, rhinestoned pubis? Would he realise right away that he had just gone to bed with the most high-maintenance woman in the universe, or would reality wait to kick in until after she had beat him over the head with her LV bag for bringing her lilies, not irises, on their 4th date? How can the Brazilian AND the Hollywood be the most popular waxes?