Tuesday, March 07, 2006


I'm always a little uncertain why I get so annoyed by the Vatican. Sure, I was raised Catholic, but really in the most minimal way (at least by my parents; the Catholic school and my rabid grnadmothers' small moments of involvement can probably be blamed for any residual guilt/repression/fetishism I still call my own). And I can't say that I have thought of myself as a 'Catholic' or gone to Mass without cringing in at least a decade. And yet, I am still annoyed and disappointed with the Pope, like, ALL THE TIME. First, it was because he is an absolute psycho, homophobe, book-burner, and generalyl Not Terribly Nice Man. Then, it was when I saw him wearing red Prada loafers. Now, I don't know if y'all are familiar with Prada pricing, because I really am not terribly, but on ebay them shiny red zapatos will set you back $200. And that's NOW, when they are totally last season. Il Papa bought his when they first came out in the fall, and I have a funny feeling that he didn't get them discounted. Not that they don't look jazzy with the whole Pope outift, because they do, but honestly? JC wore hemp sandals. And I don't think the Catholics of the world are putting money in the poor box so God's Rottweiler can have awesome footwear.

And now, he has an iPod. Seriously. Unless his new nano has a direct channel to the WORD OF GOD I feel like the Big Guy's Representative on Earth has totally missed the point of Christianity (along with the entire Bible Belt, with their Walmart and their SUVs, and whatnot, but I think that's a rant for another day). I think I remember somewhere in those vows being something about poverty. Now, popes have had trouble with this for years, and a lot of them don't seem to have really gotten on board with the whole celibacy thing, either (though not in recent years, that I know of-- more on that later if I can dig up Baby Pope stories). But there was never, ever a vow that said, 'Priest, Monk, Pope-- thou shalt work extra hard to be cool, and have all the latest fashion trends and keep on the forefront of technology.' Please. It's one thing to live in the lap of luxury and drink hot cocoa out of a golden cup designed by Michaelangelo and sleep in a room decorated by 15th-century Flemish tapestries. That's just old school avarice and self-indulgence, the foundations on which Catholicism was built. But Prada shoes? An iPod? What's next, a chihuahua in a pink rhinestone collar?

(And look, I wrote! No more tumbleweeds for you, Lulu-- if you are still speaking to me, after writing an email that I never responded to about my lack of writing about a month ago...)

Oh, and today I finished the first chapter of my thesis. It is NOT about the Pope.


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